Saturday, May 16, 2009

Holding the Question

I have a recurring dilemma. I want to be part of a church I've been attending, but parts of it scare me. Voices in my head give arguments for staying and leaving. These debates rattle around my mind like billiard balls. I hate the daily distraction. Should I stay or should I go? Why can't I make a decision? Of course, even inaction is a decision. My resolve has been to wait and see. I call this, "Holding the Question." To embrace these opposing forces is hard work. My hope (and belief?) is if I can withstand the pull of these opposites inside me, a new greater wisdom (and solution) will be born from this tension.

I'll keep you posted.

© 2009 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved
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3 comments:

Robert Longpré said...

Listen to the voices. What are they saying? Something tells me that one voice is frantically wanting you to look inward rather than outward for answers. As you wisely noted, even inaction is a decision. Holding the tension between opposites can lead to a third way, something different and not part of the original options.

LLB said...

Yes, I agree! I do seek the third way. It is an amazing birth process, of something unforeseen.

Anonymous said...

God's prevenient grace pursues us and leads us in surprising directions. Shalom.

DimLamp