Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Is it just me, or have you noticed that (within the last 20 years) the din of competing voices has grown more strident and piercing? As our population rises, does our competition for resources intensify? I’ve felt this--both inside my own psyche and in my world. Social “networking” is our current euphemism for our evermore aggressive rivalry. If there isn’t enough (jobs, money, prestige) to go around, I must howl louder and grab what I can. Even if the prize doesn’t truly satisfy or fit me—I must seize it and hang on tight. To seek “right livelihood” or my vocation (what is THAT?) is crazy. Wake up. There are not enough good jobs or decent salaries. I shouldn’t indulge in pipe dreams.

As a theatre artist and writer, I’ve always felt the scarcity of options and the intensity of competition. But now, in my 51st year, I’m exploring a new way. Could it possibly be true that there is some kind of Force (call it God for short), that calculates our unique needs? This Force doesn’t magically deliver our prayer-orders, like some Benevolent Bureaucrat in the sky. But consider this—an unseen algorithm--some mystical order that is part of the God Force. When we align ourselves in this Field of God, we find the path that leads to creativity and “just what I need.”

But how could this be true if reason shows me a small number of theatres producing plays and many more playwrights seeking admission? How can this work when 90% of the world’s resources are in the hands of 2%?

Good questions! But maybe the wrong questions. I am beginning to believe in Abundance as another frame of reality. One that, like the new physics, I cannot see (or even understand) but a fact that I experience every Spring when I throw out seeds and uncover my perennials.

How would it feel to believe that “there is enough for me” and “I get exactly what I need?”

Just writing that sentence brings peace and calm to my heart.

I’m writing lately without obsessing about selling, marketing, or promoting my work. What if I did what I feel called to do? What if I simply wrote and did the best I could? What if I trusted in God and Destiny? Why not try this? I’ve tried competition. Not only have I “failed” but my soul has withered. Trusting in God revives my soul. I give up worry, and a shriveled soul and get peace and joy? Not bad. It’s not easy—I have to have the courage to look selfish and fail. But I can do this. I can finally (finally! FINALLY!) start down my own unique path without retreating because I lost faith after calculating my odds of success.

What if I took my own path without the calculation?
© 2011 Laura Lewis-Barr all rights reserved. No more to read on this post. Even though Blogger says

No comments: